“When Helping Hurts” (Part 4)

Job 5:1-7.

This beautiful book of Job is filled with rich and raw theology. We have the absolute devastation of Job, losing much of his wealth, all of his children, and even his health.

We have the friends come from afar, arranging to help comfort their friend Job. Upon their arrival, they are amazed, speechless. They cannot fathom the events that have transpired. So, like good friends, they sit with Job. Not to comment, not to reason, nor to offer encouragement. Just to sit, in silence, with their friend.

As time passes, though, the friends begin to become concerned. Job has been suffering for a long time, intense, uncommon suffering. It becomes more and more apparent that underneath Job’s veneer of righteousness lies a bed of wickedness, unseen by human eyes but observed by the eyes of the Almighty.

After Job’s outburst, recorded in sacred Scripture, Eliphaz, the chief of the three friends, could remain silent no longer. He had to help Job.

In his desire to help, however, we have seen how unhelpful Eliphaz has been. His helping hurt. As does our help, so many times, simply because we fail to incorporate biblical principles into our helps.

So far, in Eliphaz’s speech of two chapters, we have seen that our helping hurts when we assume we know the situation, when we evaluate that situation from our experiences rather than through God’s Word, and our last sermon we learned that helping hurts when we listen to the wrong sources.

Countless numbers of people have been hurt, deeply hurt, from well-meaning people, simply because they fail to go to God’s Word and minister from it.

We have yet another way that Eliphaz attempts to help Job, and one that we can be guilty of as well. It involves warning others based on unfounded reasoning.

What we will see is how this helping unfolds, and ways the Scriptures teach us to avoid them.

IV. Helping hurts when we warn others based on unfounded reasoning- 5:1-7

Eliphaz, in his desire to help, offers four warnings to Job. They begin somewhat harmless, but quickly turn into heartless accusations that, no doubt, cut Job as or even deeper than the events that occured in chapters 1-2.

A. Eliphaz warns against useless appeals- 5:1

Imagine telling a good friend, “Who are you going to call out to?” No one is going to defend you or offer you assistance.

This warning today would discourage people from asking, “Why am I suffering?” Or, when someone asks a friend after a terrible event, “Does God still love me?”

“If God loved you would you suffer like that?”

A second warning comes against emotional responses.

B. Eliphaz warns against emotional responses- 5:2

There are two emotionally-packed words that Eliphaz uses: anger and jealousy. The word for anger is wide-ranging, but denotes a grief, a vexation of spirit.

The word jealous conveys similar sentiments. It is passion, zeal, longing.

Both are words that convey intensity of emotions, and it completely understandable considering the sufferings of Job.

Rather than allowing for some room for Job to vent, to lament (to use the biblical concept), Eliphaz warns against emotional responses.

It is the epitome of “calm down, Job.” Just chill out. Again, Eliphaz is trying to help, but he is hurting Job with this warning.

The next warning hits harder, though.

C. Eliphaz warns against evil living- 5:3-5

Eliphaz is warning against evil living. Eliphaz uses a word, foolish, to make a connection to Job. He will go on to unpack this in our next warning, but notice the implications. Job is foolish. I have seen the foolish taking root (maybe a reference to the earlier part of Job’s life) and I (Eliphaz) have cursed it.

Don’t continue to be like the foolish, Job! Be warned, curses will be upon you and your home. In Eliphaz’s theology, it is impossible for Job not to be in sin, and he warns against this evil living.

It gets worse, though, in verses 4-5. Eliphaz moves from the individual’s evil living to the ramifications for his house, including his children.

The individual’s sons and his harvest are in danger. Do you hear how heartless this help is? Job could not have missed the implications here: Job’s children were killed, and his wealth was taken, because he was wicked (an ironic charge, given Satan’s accusations and God’s assessment).

Now this warning bites, a bit different than the others do. We must remember, though, that Eliphaz was trying to help!

Our helping hurts when we warn others based on unfounded reasoning, whether it is a warning against a useless appeal, an emotional response, and third, a warning against evil living. Now he offers one more warning—a warning against ridiculous complaining.

D. Eliphaz warns against ridiculous complaining- 5:6-7

This section is one of many that is hard to understand. What exactly is Eliphaz trying to say?

It seems that he is contrasting the lives of plants and animals to the experience of humanity. There are two textual clues that lead me to such a conclusion.

First, the use of the word dust. This is the same word God uses in His creation of and judgment on Adam (see Gen. 2:7; 3:19). It is the stuff of the earth.

The second word is ground. We have seen this word used in the Scriptures as well. It is the ground from whence Adam came. That is, it is the stuff of the earth.

Animals and creation as a whole have been subjected to the curse (Romans 8:22). Creation suffers, not for its own sin, but because it has been cursed for the sake of humanity’s sin.

Affliction and trouble do not come from the earth in the sense that the earth judges others, no, humanity is born for trouble.

Humans have sinned and deserve God’s righteous judgment, as Job is receiving now, Eliphaz reasons.

Why is Job complaining? Why is Job crying out for creation to eliminate him? His reasoning is flawed in the opinion of Eliphaz, and Eliphaz warns Job against such foolish reasoning.

E. Biblically Wise and Helpful Warnings

The Scriptures are abundant with wise and helpful warnings. These are some principles to help you help others without hurting them.

1. Know What Scripture Warns About…and How It Goes About Warning

We need to be wise concerning good and simple concerning evil (Romans 16:19). We need to work hard to see what God calls evil, and I would argue that the 10 Commandments are the best place to look. There is much in those commandments that cover both positive aspects (that is, what we should do) as well as negative aspects (things we should avoid). It moves beyond the outward expressions of those righteous deeds to do and sinful expressions to avoid to the heart (see the Sermon on the Mount).

Let’s unpack this a bit. Scripture forbids unkind speech, using Ephesians 4:29 as an example. “29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

The negative aspects we are to avoid is “corrupting talk” or “unwholesome.” It is diseased, harmful speech.

Positively, we are to speak life-giving and spiritually-edifying words.

But this is only half the battle. We need to know Scripture, that is true, but we also need to know how to apply, how to warn.

At times, a soft word is needed, as we see in Proverbs 15:1. At other times, we need to be blunt, as Jesus is with the Pharisees.

Let’s demonstrate the wisdom of this in a hypothetical situation. You come into the sanctuary and notice that a man is talking with a loud voice to his wife. You can tell by his mannerisms that he is not happy, and as you approach the couple you note that the language is less than edifying.

How to you handle it? You could run in guns a’ blazin’, yelling at the man to stop yelling at his wife. Or, you could walk up and ask a question, “Hey, what’s going on?” And as you gain some more information about the conflict, you may encourage the man to remember to speak with grace, even in the midst of a tense situation. This may off-set the emotional outburst and help the man see his response is sinful.

All of this, by the way, comes with prayerful dependance on the Holy Spirit.

Knowing the Scriptures about what to warn against as well as the way to warn is so helpful, and Eliphaz would have been far more helpful to Job had he used the Scripture’s wisdom.

There is a second principle that is always helpful in dealing with warning, particularly when we are aiming to help others.

2. Get Help from the Church for Yourself and Others

There is a beautiful passage in Galatians that displays this principle. Galatians 6:1–2 “1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Now, one thing to note is that this passage is dealing with a trespass, a transgression, a sin. Our brother Job has not sinned, and so this only applies to someone “caught” in sin.

But back to our present passage, if someone is sinning, get help from the church. Brothers, that’s plural, and its written to the churches in Galatia. And that “you” is plural, “you all,” or “y’all.”

As we seek to warn others, a responsibility and privilege as servants of Christ, we help each other. Notice two other important aspects of this: gentleness and watchfulness.

We do so with gentleness, as individuals who have been “caught in transgressions” ourselves, we know how easy it is to succumb to temptation. We warn to help, not to hurt.

We also engage in watchfulness in our own hearts. We know that we have failed, and we know that we face the same temptations. Let us be watchful on our lives together as we watch others.

Helping hurts when we warn others based on unfounded reasoning. Let us seek to know and apply the Scriptures with prayerful wisdom and with the help and in the context of the church of Jesus Christ.